


Palaces out of Paragraphs

by Lordoflesamis



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Au I thought of in a dream, Caleb is German lol, Caleb writes romantic history novels, Help me this rarepair hell is killing me, I know nothing about making a TV show other than what can be learned in Bojack Horseman, Modern AU, Modern setting with D&D races, Multi, Slow Burn, Writer and actor AU if such a thing exists, bc let's face it he would
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-09-17 20:06:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16980969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordoflesamis/pseuds/Lordoflesamis
Summary: Caleb Widogast finds himself, inexplicably, in Los Angeles- turning his most popular novel into a TV show. Supervising the casting and character choices as the show explores past what was published, Caleb is faced with the very real problem of his own social awkwardness, trauma and feelings as he gets to know the cast- especially the mystifying and enigmatic Jester Lavorre, who plays his leading lady.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I got this idea at 1am and just had to write it, so apologies if this first chapter has some mistakes- please read and review, I love this pair so much and there needs to be more fanfic for them!

When Caleb had got the phone call, he had wondered if it was some kind of joke. Some kind of surreal targeted joke that his shitty romance/history novel had been selected for TV adaptation by a major broadcaster. In fact, he had believed it so little that he’d laughed in the face of the executive who brought him the paperwork a few days later in his small flat in East London, the sun-kissed skin of her face wrinkling into a frown as she cited his strange, “typical german sense of humour.” 

“ja,” he’d said, “sure, that’s it.”

It hadn’t seemed real even as he was asked to supervise casting and character throughout the first series (first! Would there be more?), promptly packing his bags and hopping on a plane to Los Angeles, Nott vibrating with excitement and fear of flying in the seat beside him, the sound of crying children and distant chatter ringing loud in his ears. It hadn’t even seemed real when he’d checked into the hotel he would be spending the summer at, and they’d given him the lanyard with “Caleb Widogast- Author” printed in block letters on a palm-sized card. 

It only seemed real as he stood outside the studio for the first time on Monday morning, the building looming above him- and he suddenly felt out of his depth. Trying to force himself to breathe, he closed his eyes and exhaled, and when he opened them he jumped, suddenly face to face with an incredibly tall, pale and intimidating woman. 

She was muscular, wearing a tank top and black jeans that showed off her athletic physique- and her hair (an unusual gradient of black to grey to white) was tied up in an elaborate braided ponytail. The strangest thing about her appearance was not her incredibly pale skin or her strange hairstyle choices but her mismatched eyes- one a light blue-grey the other one almost lilac. For a few moments Caleb wondered if she could possibly human, but he could see nothing to suggest otherwise as he steadied himself; “Ja, I’m Caleb Widogast.” And pointed at his name tag. 

The woman, smiling now, tapping her own, which read “Yasha Nydoorin- Head of Operations”

“Well I have to say, Mr Widogast, we loved your book here at the studio. And romance isn’t usually my thing.”

Caleb felt the usual embarrassment that came with compliments, his face flushing to his ears, “ah- thank you.”

“Come with me,” Yasha said, turning on her heel and marching towards the second building on the left, “We’re just about to cast for ADELAIDE.”

ADELAIDE was the main character of Caleb’s book. A plucky young woman with a dying father to care for back home, ADELAIDE finds herself in the employment of the evil CAPTAIN LUCINDA, and among the crew of a ship known as The Mistake. While most of the crew are kind at heart, they are all pirates, and ADELAIDE feels mostly out of place- until one day a stowaway, calling himself LOGAN, comes aboard and although he is a sailor, he is not a pirate. The two fall in love, and he admits to her that he is actually LAWRENCE GILMORE the son of a wealthy merchant, and has left to find the man who killed his mother. It is revealed that this “man” was actually CAPTAIN LUCINDA all along, resulting in an epic battle for revenge, love and redemption. 

Caleb wasn’t sure how it was going to work as a TV series, but he was more than open to the recognition- and the revenue. 

“We already have our actor for DERRICK.” Yasha continued as the pair made their way out of the son- Caleb thanking the stars- and into the cool foyer of the studio, “A friend of mine named Mollymauk Tealeaf. I’ll show you his tapes later but he’s the real deal, and I think you’ll like him.” DERRICK was one of the nicer members of the pirate crew- and a fairly important one at that.

“I’m sure I will.” Caleb said, unsure as to why they both appeared to feel so awkward while a perfectly comfortably conversation was occurring. 

Yasha led them into a fairly small room where a table with four seats on the opposite side greeted him. A tall, slender firbolg sat behind the desk, fingers steeped into a triangle, eyes closed. His pink hair was half shaved, the other kept long on his left shoulder. He wore a loose fitting flowery top and pink skinny jeans, and when he opened his eyes they shone with wisdom Caleb had never seen before. 

“Caleb this is Caduceus Clay, our producer.” Yasha said as the men shook hands, “and you’ve already spoken to Keg, our director.”

The tanned dwarvern woman who had given him the papers gave him a nod, stumping out the cigarette in the full tray in front of her, “Hey there.”

“Hallo.” He said, “Thank you for having me.”

“Thank you very much for coming,” Caduceus said, voice smooth and soft like velvet, “We’re glad to have you.”

The American equivalent of tea was brought over to him as they took their seats, Yasha to his right, Caduceus to his left, and he was given a notebook and a pen, “For your notes.” 

“Great,” Keg said, “Send them in.”

The first four hours were more than tedious, and while at first the excitement of seeing people act out his own lines kept his energy levels high, soon the novelty wore off and he began to get tired of- even irritated- people butchering his words. 

“How many are left?” he asked a similarly-frustrated looking Keg, who sighed.

“You don’t wanna know, trust me.” 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Caleb said, feeling his earlier nerves begin to have an effect on his bladder, “Where are they?”

Nodding numbly at Yasha’s reply, he stood and brushed himself down, before heading out into the hallway towards the toilets. There were about twenty women in the hall who peered at him curiously, a few whispering to themselves as he passed, and he managed to smile politely and nod to most of them. None of them, however, looked as he had imagined ADELAIDE- but he reminded himself, as he entered the men’s room; it wasn’t about how he pictured her, but how the audience expected her to look and how well she could emulate the character’s personality. Sighing at his reflection in the mirror- his deep under-eye bags, his scruffy ginger hair and freakishly pale skin, his strange grey eyes- he took a few moments to breathe again and walked quickly out the room before he could change his mind.

Or at least, he tried to, slamming full-bodied into someone, tripping over their feet and falling to the floor. As he reached out to brace himself from the fall, he barely had time to process the shriek they gave and their hands clutching at his shoulders. 

“Shit! Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh are you okay?” the person- she- said, and he, wincing, opened his eyes to see the wide eyes of a blue tiefling with freckles across her face and a bow on each horn. 

“I… uh…. Are you? O-okay I mean?” he stuttered, quickly realising how close he was and that he was essentially straddling her and recoiling into a kneeling position, offering a hand to her. 

“Oh I’m fine.” She said, laughing, “I’m so sorry, I was just excited because I heard there’s auditions for the TV show of this really great book today.”

Caleb felt himself get flustered again, and dropped his gaze to the floor, “That wouldn’t ah- happen to be The Legend of Adelaide Fitzherbert, would it?”

“Of course, it’s only the best book ever written! The tiefling grinned, hands in the air, “Have you read it?”

“I ah- I wrote it.” Caleb said, as he pulled her to her feet, unable to meet her gaze even as she grabbed his hand with both of hers and began to shake it repeatedly.

“Wow! So you’re technically like a famous person technically! That’s amazing!” 

“I am nothing special.” Caleb said then, blushing, finally glanced at her, “But thank you.”

Her eyes were somehow wider than before, “I’m Jester Lavorre! It’s very very nice to meet you Mr Widogast.”

“Caleb,” he said, then cleared his throat, “Um- good luck then, I suppose.”

“Caleb,” she repeated, and he hastily took away his hand as he began to sweat profusely, “Wonderful! I’ll see you soon then! You better get back to it, don’t want to wait for my audition any longer than I have to!” and he found himself spun around, strong hands on his back, and pushed back towards the door he had left a few minutes ago.

“Are you alright?” Caduceus asked as he stumbled in, shutting the door behind him and breathing rapidly.

“… Ja.” Caleb said, swallowing deeply and trying to stop blinking, something he did when he was nervous. 

“You can’t be bias”. He thought to himself as he watched another woman ruin one of his favourite scenes. “Yes she’s pretty but that doesn’t mean she should play the lead”. The next woman was worse, her voice grating and unpleasant- even Caduceus seemed visibly perturbed. “What if she isn’t any good at acting?”

“Jester Lavorre.” The familiar voice said, making him jump out of his thoughts, “Reading for ADELAIDE- or just any part to be honest!” 

The tiefling stood with her hands on her hips, her jean shorts cut halfway up her thighs, embroidered with sapphire-coloured flowers, white top flowing but flattering at the same time. Her hair was bobbed, and her horns simply decorated with a white bow on each. Her mouth was curved into a wide, confident grin, and she seemed to be full of some sort of energy- nerves or excitement? It was hard to tell.

“Brilliant,” Keg said, “Do you have a scene prepared, or do you want to read from our scene here?”

“I have one prepared.” Jester said, “Should I start?”

“Please.” Caduceus said, writing POLITE on his paper. 

“Okay then” Jester said, then closed her eyes and inhaled. When she opened them again, there was a shift in her that made Caleb catch his breath. Her eyes, which had been shining with excitement mere seconds ago, now seemed cold and betrayed. Her posture was defiant, scared but strong, and she held herself with the bravery of a woman with nothing left to lose. 

“Lawrence.” She said, her charming accent replaced with a flawless queen’s English lilt, “You have to realise that what you did was wrong. I put everything I had in you- my love. My trust. And you broke that trust the moment you followed her to shore. I’m not stupid and I’m not jealous- I know what you have been doing and I know it’s not about her- it’s about the revenge you seek. And you deserve that revenge, but I deserve your loyalty and honestly.”

Caleb had forgotten that she was the sweet, attractive woman he had met briefly earlier. Suddenly faced with the moment his character became her best self, he had no idea how to respond. He wasn’t aware his mouth was open until he closed it to swallow, unable to take his eyes off her performance to take a drink. 

“I can’t do this,” Jester said, backing away with her hands in front of her body, “I choose trust. What will you choose?” and, with accusation, hurt and victory hanging in the air, she clenched her jaw and turned away, anguish but self-pride somehow across her features. 

There was a pause, and her eyes reopened to bright, hopeful excitement, “So? How did I do?”

“We’ll let you know.” Keg said, quick to remain neutral- which was ruined by Caleb’s clapping, which he barely realised he was doing. 

“That was wonderful.” He said, aware his voice was shaking, and Jester bit her lip in a bad attempt to stop a giddy grin spreading across her face. At Caduceus’ bemused throat clear, Caleb floundered a little, “Of-Of course we’ve had plenty of good auditions today though so… we’ll let you know.”

“Perfect!” she practically skipped over to shake their hands, and definitely skipped out of the room.

“We’re hiring her, right?” Keg asked them, and to Caleb’s delight, both Caduceus and Yasha agreed wholeheartedly. 

“Now we just need to find someone as good for everyone else.” Keg sighed, leaning back in her chair, “which is at least another week of auditions.”

The giddy excitement Caleb had felt faded almost immediately as he put his head in his hands, “Scheisse.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update! Please enjoy :)

When Caleb left at 9, Nott had still been asleep. She’d half felt the brief kiss on her forehead Caleb had left her with, and she’d half heard the door shut- but she hadn’t opened her eyes, which ached from exhaustion and the copious amount of alcohol she’d drank the night before.

Nor had she opened her eyes when the couple in the room next door loudly began to row, then cry, then have sex- but she did complain about all three into the bedcovers. She did open her eyes, however, when her fingers began to itch- and she reluctantly got out of bed.

When Nott’s fingers began to itch, she had to take something- something small but shiny or pretty- and this kleptomania could only be beaten by one thing- her flask. She stripped her pyjamas and flung open her suitcase (Caleb had unpacked last night; Nott had not), rifling through for something comfortable. Settling on a black long sleeved t-shirt and loose-fitting- what Caleb called “mama jeans”- she went to the minifridge and took one of the small whiskey bottles, decanting it and another one into her flask. Sitting herself back down on her queen sized bed, she grabbed the remote off the nightstand and turned on the TV.

The hotel’s information channel made her snort before she took the first swig from her flask, flicking through the channels with no real destination. Eventually she settled on a show called Good Morning Hollywood!, where an elaborately dressed man and a gorgeous woman sat on a sofa and seemed to interview celebrities about their private lives. 

“And now we have a guest I am very excited for,” the man, who’s name Taryon Darrington now came up on the screen, “Known as the Ruby of the Screen, Ms Marion Lavorre!”

The audience went wild as a dark red-skinned tiefling dressed in a long low cut silver dress emerged from beyond the curtains, waving with an alluring, calm smile, and taking a seat opposite the interviewers. 

“Marion!” said Vex’ahlia DeRolo, Taryon’s co-host, flicking her long dark hair behind her to lean in and kiss the guest’s cheek, which The Ruby seemed to accept gladly. 

“Hello! Good morning.” She said, showing a glimpse of sharp white teeth. 

“And how are we today?” Taryon asked, also embracing their guest, “It’s very hot this morning isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes, it’s very warm. But I am good, thank you. Yourselves?” Her accent was thick and her voice was smooth- the perfect accompaniment to her drink. 

Nott downed a little more of her flask, wondering what time Caleb would be back, and if people like this were nearby. She doubted they stayed at the hotel they had been put up in- which was nice but modest, and not as extravagant as where she could see this woman spending her time. Even her horns were draped in finery. 

“My daughter, Jester, is now trying to be an actress yes.” She was saying now, honey-sweet voice proud and delighted, “I tried to keep her out of the limelight but- it’s in her blood I’m afraid.” 

For a moment, Nott considered actually watching the interview instead of getting day drunk as planned. But only a moment. Chugging the flask, she lay back in her bed and let the TV become white noise, listening instead to the noises of the hotel. Outside there were a few shouts from children jumping into the quite sizeable pool the hotel surrounded. In the hall a cleaner hoovered distantly, and upstairs- well something was going on upstairs, now that she could hear it. 

A voice, fairly pleasant and with a strong French accent, was yelling, “Vera it’s just not good enough! You said Five Stars and this place is little better than a motel!”

There was silence, and after a few beats Nott assumed that the woman was on her phone. Chuckling, she ducked down to the suitcase and took out her second flask, swigging from it as her attention flickered from the TV, the woman upstair’s rant about how she wasn’t going to get her beauty sleep, and the window- through which she could just about see the balcony of the rooms across from hers and Caleb’s. 

A bird landed on the railing, its little wings tucked into itself. Nott took another swig of her flask. If the whole summer could be like this, she would certainly be enjoying it. 

 

//// 

“Mollymauk Tealeaf.” The lavender tiefling said, bowing low in front of a bewildered Caleb, who shot his hand out in front of himself and blurted his own name in return. As soft fingers took his hand, Caleb was met with a brilliant white-fanged smile, and he wondered suddenly if all tieflings were unnaturally bewitching. 

“Have you done any acting before, Mr Tealeaf?” Caleb asked, if anything to stop the only slightly uncomfortable silence between them. 

“Well, Mr Caleb,” Mollymauk teased, and Caleb felt a flush rush to his face, “Nothing in television. I usually do theatre things.”

“He’s very good.” Yasha said, as if prompted, and Caleb smiled at her.

“I’m sure he is. Nice to meet you, Mollymauk.”

“Molly is fine.” the newcomer grinned, adjusting his leather jacket (which was embroidered with, among many other things, purple roses and the eye of horus) and turning to the group, “Now, shall we all get as they say, hammered?”

Yasha grinned and slapped him on the back, Keg whooping and Caduceus chuckling, “I suppose you want me to be the designated driver?”

“Please” Mollymauk winked over Caleb’s shoulder at the firbolg, who rolled his eyes as he gathered up the rest of their papers from the desk.

“Alright, but not too crazy. We have another day of this tomorrow. And the next day.” 

“Caleb, are you coming?” Keg asked, patting him on the arm as she passed him.

Caleb knew he should say yes, and come with them. He knew he should be sociable, that if he was to have a good relationship with these people he should spend time with them outside of work. But his bones ached with jetlag and exhaustion, and his heart ached with something else. Something a little harder to pinpoint, but overwhelmingly seemed to scream shame- he would ruin their fun. He wasn’t interesting or funny or clever enough to keep their company, to have friends. Nott was a miracle. More than her would be asking too much of the universe. 

“ah,” he said, “I will head back, actually. But I will see you tomorrow.”

Mollymauk pouted, but didn’t argue, and they walked him to his rental car with good conversation and merriment, Mollymauk promising that he’d do a good job, Yasha and Caleb assuring him he would- Keg and Caduceus debating whether it was worth having a Designated Driver or if Caduceus should just “let loose.”

“Guten Nacht,” he said, waving them off as he climbed into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the studio’s carpark, grateful for the air conditioning that roared into life as the vehicle made its way to the hotel- it wasn’t particularly hot, for the summer, but it was far hotter than Caleb had expected.

What he had expected but wished he didn’t was the feeling of inadequacy that settled in his chest like a stone on the ocean floor as he parked, guilty and ashamed that he hadn’t shown his excitement as strongly as he felt it today. He was honoured to have this opportunity, and he wished that he could express that in a way others would understand- he wished he could express most things in a way people could understand. The only one who seemed to was Nott. 

Speaking of Nott, he found her lying face down on the floor of their hotel room. 

“Hallo,” He muttered, and she raised a hand in response, making him chuckle, “And how was the hotel?”

“Great!” she grinned, sitting up, “How was your day?”

“It was…” unable to find a better word, he smiled and said, “Good.” 

“Just Good? Or good as in the best day of your life you can’t believe this is happening oh my god oh my god?” 

“Er a little of both,” Caleb said, frowning as he thought about it, “It was a long day, ja. But good.” 

Nott clambered to her feet and walked to where he sat on the bed, running her hands through his hair, “I’m glad you had a good day. I’m proud of you.”

Caleb felt the usual swell of affection for her as he wrapped her into him, squeezing tighter as she protested.

“Stop it! You’re worse than Luke!” 

Luke, Nott’s son, was about fifteen years younger than Caleb, and he’d helped his mother bring Caleb back from the brink a long time ago, when he had been at his lowest. Homeless, starving and exhausted, he had found himself curled into the front of a shop owned by Nott’s husband Yeza, who had come back to collect something he’d forgotten and found Caleb shivering in the cold. They had taken him in, and all of them, especially Nott, had been quite taken by the strange, shy man who didn’t ask any questions about how their accents weren’t native like his own, or why Nott was a goblin when her child was a halfling. 

“Oh uh they have already picked out some of the cast. A tiefling named Mollymauk.” Caleb said, the name sounding strange in his thick accent, “And I think we have our leading lady.”

Nott’s face showed a flicker of recognition, “Oh you did, did you?”

Caleb felt a blush heat up his face, “nein, she’s just a very good actress. And a perfect fit for Adelaide.” 

Nott’s yellow eyes narrowed, “Wanna watch trash Tv, eat ice cream and talk about it?”  
Caleb chuckled, “I will eat ice cream and do some writing, ja. You can watch TV.” 

Nott patted his head, jumping up onto her bed, “Sounds about right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or comments, I love them all and they really push me to write! I love this ship and I can't wait to see where Crit Role goes with all the crazy stuff that's going on!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos/comment if you liked it or have any constructive criticism :D


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